Logical Frustrations
12 Minute Blog about God.
My professor made a simple statement along the lines of " the old myths of Greek God's like Persephone and Demeter" I though to myself, "How would a man living in the Greek world, fully living in the popular beliefs of the time feel if he overheard someone refer to his god as a myth?" I bet he'd be pretty pissed.
I am not a believer in God, or a specific God. I can't profess that there isn't one, but I know nothing of his nature. I think it will be interesting in hundreds or thousands of years when the people, or reigning intelligent beings of that time, refer to this era and say things like "the myth of God, or the Myth of Jesus, or Mohamed" by that time I imagine people will believe something completely different than what we believe now, and will consider our beliefs silly, yet still be caught up in their beliefs not being silly, when even further civilizations will believe the same of them.
I don't think that we ever really get any closer to truth, merely continue to change what truth is.
ON a similar note. My friend pointed out the other night that evolution is still occuring and that humans evolved from what used to be single celled organisms. When you look at life millions of years down the road humans will no longer be humans. Whenever I think of human evolution I just think, "oh, there will be even more intelligent humans" but more than likely humans will diverge as other creatures have and possibly become multiple races of varyingly intelligent/strong individuals. What will humanity have changed into in 100 million years? I'm rooting for wings. I vote humans start living in high places and forming a battle ritual in which the loser falls off said high thing. I imagine after millions and millions of this year people will grow wings out of necessity. Lets do it, if we put our minds to it our great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren can have wings.
Theories of the Universe
So I think a lot. I think about why people do what they do, why people are what they are, what this place is that people occupy and how it works. I think about the laws of nature sometimes too. There’s this old rule of a battle between entropy and enthalpy, order vs. Chaos. Supposedly the universe has a tendency towards chaos. This makes order seem like it has to be enacted by a conscious force as the universe isn’t going to organize and clean itself. Or is it?
I am proposing a new sort of opposition. An opposition that is combative and supportive of itself. I propose there is a battle between simplification and complications.
What made me think of this is thinking about how a person’s mind works and trying to find a way to apply it to the universe. Here is my thought process.
1. I believe understanding something makes it simpler, or more ordered, if you will. It relieves stress on a mind.
2. To understand something I often have to make new comparisons, add knowledge, or rethink other ideas. Oftentimes understanding something makes it simpler for us, but means we have to look at it at a more complex level.
3. This adds complexity, complexity re-ads the stress understanding created, and further understanding is required to relieve it.
4. In this way understanding(simplification) breeds complexity.
I will apply this to a simple real world application. Back in the day we took Atoms as little balls, but didn’t understand them. To understand them we looked at them closer and found they are made up of smaller parts, we understood the ball, but now we needed to understand the smaller parts. We try to understand the smaller parts and find out they are once again made of still smaller parts. Trying to understand and simplify the atomic balls forced the balls themselves becoming more complex in our minds yet also simpler.
I don’t know if this is applicable to how the universe works or how the mind works to understand the universe or act within it. I would appreciate thoughts on whether my logic is flawed, or how to apply it to other situations.
Language
Who here has tried to learn a new language at some point? I certainly have and still am attempting to learn German. Over the years I have made progress with it, and am far better than I was freshman year of high school, but mind you this is after about 6 years of study, and I still can hardly say that I am fluent. Why is it that it takes so long to learn? I am sure that fact that I haven’t made it my number one priority, nor my number two for that matter, and that I simply have other things to study hasn’t helped my studies but I think there is something else at the core of it.
I apologize for any blanket statements but children in other countries learn two languages side by side throughout their lives and by the time they graduate normal schooling can speak two or three languages fairly fluently. They have the advantage over the majority of Americans coming late to the game. Learning early is the ticket. I started learning when I was about 15. By that time I have been set in my ways of speaking my own language and learning another is quite a task.
What I realize is that when they teach you another language via high school and the American way they teach you it in relation to English. They relate German participles to American participles, German proper verb conjugation and placement to English verb conjugation and placement and all sorts of sentence structural equivalencies. It stumps me and I learn slowly because honestly I DON’T KNOW WHAT THESE THINGS ARE IN ENGLISH. If I couldn’t’ tell you what the direct object is, or what a dependent clause is in English, how am I going to do so in German? Without a good understanding of how the English system works when broken down it is almost impossible to learn another language on top of that, especially when learning it upon a foundation barely exists.
I don’t believe the public school system proficiently teaches the English language. I also believe that were they to teach English proficiently, students would still not know it as well as they should. I mean what incentive do they have? They can speak English fine, right? It’s not like there’s we’re surrounded by foreign speaking nations( You’ve only got one side Mexico).
Here is what I propose, what I hope to, one day, do with my children, and what many foreign countries have been doing for ages. I propose from the stages of early language development we teach two languages side by side. In this way language would not be learned as English, or German, but as a general language structure. The language structures of the two language would be different, but learning with two structures and how they are different from one another, while containing mostly the same elements, would make the understanding of each deeper.
I love me my metaphors and I equivocate this with learning about each individual lego before putting them together, rather than seeing a complete lego structure, taking it apart and putting it back together again. The first is far easier, and I am sure if I understood the blocks I could build many structures from them.
I would love to see a push for this in education reform, and think that each of us, whether we have children or one day have children, should take the time to teach two languages simultaneously, possibly even speak two in the home. We need to catch up America. No longer are the days we can hide in our happy rich home and ignore the rest of world. We have to start being part of it again. Let’s jump in language first.
Questions
Which of these questions is the most complex and difficult to answer and what type of people are concerned with which questions?
I would argue that it is a close call, but it is a near tie between Why and How, with Why being the toughest, and that two very distinctly different mindsets are concerned with each.
Why is the only one that in it's asking suggests that there is something other than human reality or perception in it's asking.
I want to know what you guys think the most complicated question is.
Writings to help me understand
Malice
- I don't believe anybody wore plaid shorts in Vietnam, I think that joke is from Superbad and was either about Camo shorts or Cargo shorts (both of which would make more sense)
- I came up with tons of come-backs about an hour later and was bummed I'm not quicker on the draw
- Who still gives/gets (expletive deleted)'s?
The Writer's Dilemma
At least I have the first step in mind, a general story outline. I know the points that I want to touch on and somewhat of an idea what I want the end result to be but that leaves the lines connecting the points undrawn, and I'm pretty sure it's not just like connect the dots. Where do I go from there? I don't know where to approach.
I wrote out a short plot synopsis with important details included but that still doesn't get me started writing the piece (what I want to be a screenplay) as a whole. Where do you begin your attack?
I feel like I can't start with the beginning because I am not sure how I want it to begin and I feel uncomfortable writing some random scene in the middle because that just seems out of place. So if I can't start at the beginning or the middle or the end, where is my jumping off point?
AND another thing, this whole writing something that others will read and possibly eventually see is to me a practice in temporarily inflating one's ego. I have an ego, but it is based on very little and seems to only be able to go down from here. To write something with the presumption that other people will find what you have to say interesting is bold and I don't know that I am that bold.
If any of you are curious my approach to developing this story/characters is going to be writing a series of short stories about specific characters until I feel comfortable taking it a step further. Writing is work and I am not used to working. I am slowly realizing that the writing process involves a bit more than just sitting at a coffee shop and typing away and that I am in for a long process.
I am open to any advice, but just thought I'd express what I am thinking about this thing that I plan on doing.
To My Health
Then I got to thinking about how whenever I am sick I think of how I never seem to just have a period where nothing is wrong, either I am sick, or just had a bummer of an event happent, or have a bad pimple, or something of that sort.
On this day however I realized I was rocking around a 90%. I just stayed up too late otherwise absolutely nothing is wrong with me, I am in prime health. This made me feel good that during one of these long periods of good health and no problems I was able to realize that I was in said period of time and could therefore appreciate it.
From now on I plan to check my daily percentage to just kind of see how I am. I imagine I will find more often than not that I am doing much better than I think I am.
Mother Country
Good example: Seat belt laws. I should have the right to value my comfort over my personal safety. If I am going to injure somebody else via flying through a windshield then, ok, fine me for not wearing a seatbelt. But if the only person I can hurt is myself; why is there a reason to make it illegal?
On to cigarettes. Cigarettes are horrid for your health, yet on occasion I have smoked one or two, well aware of the consequences and willing to pollute my health for that momentary pleasure. I agree they shouldn't be advertised on media outlets frequented by younger individuals and that we should have education programs to let students know the risks of smoking but all I think we need is the warning that they are harmful.
If there is a sign that says "This sign is very hot, and very likely will burn you" and I read that and still want to touch it then that's my own dumb fault. The USA doesnt need a police officer in front of that sign who will arrest me if I want to burn myself on it.
On to drugs. If there were a drug that would cause me to often make stupid violent decisions, damage public property or possibly not be able to operate a motor vehicle yet restrict my ability to judge whether I should (...alcohol). That drug should be heavily regulated if misused. As for other drugs, the illegal ones, if the only thing they do is make the user feel good for awhile with the possible consequence of addicting him and making him dependant, the user should be able to use them, as long as he is aware of all the risks beforehand.
Alcohol: dangerous to self and those around self + addictive= LEGAL
illegal drugs: dangerous to self ( not others) + addictive= ILLEGAL
hmmm...
I was just reading today how it is easier for young people to get marijuana than alcohol because alcohol is regulated by the gov't and I thought to myself, that is really quite true. Drugs should be legalized and regulated and taxed like alcohol. We could use the billions of dollars made from taxing drugs to further educate people on why they are dangerous, or possibly to treat stupid people who become addicted. WIN WIN WIN
Basically I am just tired of the USA not giving its citizens enough credit to take care of themselves. We dont need laws that force us to wear seabelts, or bike helmets, or force us to not drink bleach. We just need warning labels that explain the risks.
It's like a child who wants to make his own decisions but his mother won't let him in fear he'll make the wrong ones. The child is either never going to learn or going to make the wrong decisions on purpose to spite the mother.
Comments on Comments
I will comment on this comment from a friend of mine:
I agree. A bad parent is going to be a bad parent whether they or gay or straight. In the 30 days video there is a young woman who tells the story of growing up with a gay father and the things that ruin her. She tells of how there would be graphic discussions of sex in front of her as a child and how her father would take her to sex shops. To me this sounds like her dad was just a bad parent, it's not as if because he was gay he couldn't help but to expose his daughter to things at a young age she shouldn't be exposed to it's more like because he was just a bad bad father.
also a later comment from the same person
"I was definitely that person who was like "Go gay people! I'll just be hanging out with my straight rights over here, but good luck!" I suppose I'll join you as well :)"
and my comments:
YAY!
GLBT Adoption
One of the most striking things about it is that while the woman (Katy) claims that she is willing to accept belief systems other than her own, she would still vote against this couple's right to adopt children. In my mind, if you would vote to eliminate the rights of another belief system, you are not accepting them.
I am not a member of the Mormon Church, and I believe that some of their teachings are incorrect. If a proposition were to arise from an Anti-Mormon group that proposes that Mormons should not be allowed to adopt children would she see the hypocrisy in her statements? Would that proposition not seem preposterous?
To take that a step further, it is extremely difficult to make the argument that a person was "born a Mormon" and they had no choice in their beliefs. Whereas it is very difficult to make the argument that a gay person was NOT born gay. I feel like it is more logical that a person can be denied rights because of a choice rather than for something that is inherit in them.
My biggest point is that it would seem preposterous for a GLBT group to try to remove a Christian's rights to adopt, or a Mormon's or anybody else's, yet it is acceptable for Christians, Mormons and other groups to propose to remove the same rights for a GLBT couple. It is hard for me to comprehend how anyone could vote against there being MORE rights in the world, yet time and time again movements are made to vote a group's rights away. A journalist, I cannot remember who, made the comment that the passing of Proposition 8 in California is the first time in United States history that a civil right has been voted away by majority vote.
I do believe in the rights of a GLBT couple to adopt. I don't believe the teachings of the majority of religious groups, and if I had it my way I wouldn't have children brought up under the schools of some of these groups, BUT I am not going to fight against these groups right to have a family. All I ask is that they do the same for GLBT families.
Comments on the Video:
- I think one of Katy's biggest hurdles to overcome in this video is to go into this type of situation trying to explore her and others' beliefs rather than going through it as a test to whether or not she can stick to her beliefs.
- In many of the situations in which Katy feels her beliefs are being attacked, I do not think they are, and I do not think she realized that by her standards she is attacking their beliefs just as much.
- I think a big breakthrough will be when religious groups realize that GLBT communities are not trying to attack others' religious beliefs but merely trying to defend their own.
A Post About Gay Stuff
My former mentality was something along the lines of, " I believe in GLBT rights, marriage and adoption, but as a straight man, don't really think it is my fight to fight."
My realization, largely aided by a good gay friend of mine, is that for GLBT rights to be recognized by people outside the GLBT community, those people have to see people within their community fighting for it as well.
We live in such retrospective times in such a retro-romantic nation that often our current situation is not taken as seriously. We look back at the 60's and think, "if only today were as radical as then," or look at great changers like MLK Jr. and think, "if only people like him existed today." I watched a show about an extremist spy infiltrating the U.S. Military last night and thought about how amazing that was, and then realized, "you know, I am sure that exact same thing is going on now but just hasn't been uncovered yet." Our problem is we cannot realize the magnitude of events until they are fully played out and can look back on them. I don't want to look back on these today, and then 10 years from now realize that I was not part of the biggest Equal Rights movement of our time.
So here's what I think now. If I had been alive during the bulk of the Women's Suffrage movement would I have marched with them? Would I have stood up when Black people were doing the bulk of their fighting for equal rights? Hell yes I would. Would I have thought to myself in the 1800s, "Well I don't agree with slavery, but since I am not a slave it's not my place to fight for them." Hell no.
GLBT people around the US and world are not given equal rights to straight people, and as a straight man I will not stand for that. This is my declaration of allegiance in the GLBT rights movement and belief in constructive, productive and non-hateful activism. It is also my invitation for other straight people not aiding the movement to join me.
Movie Review - Terminator Salvation
Warning: Minor Spoilers
The plot is just, just not thought out. You can tell it was patched together haphazardly to get it out on time. There's this mysterious man who was a prisoner in the past who appears in the future, but if you've seen the first 5 minutes it is basically spelled out exactly for you what he is and what role he will play. Foreshadowing=good, Eliminating any mystery=bad. Later unlikable characters make stupid decisions and then randomly have to blow up this skynet place. Why, nobody is really sure, but they make it sound like a big deal. They all receive orders from Michael Ironside who's just an overdone stereotype hard hitting leader that belongs in a Command and Conquer videogame. He hangs out in a ridiculous submarine base that John Conner can infiltrate just by diving from a helicopter. Kyle Reese basically just hangs around so people can ask him who he is and he can say "I'm Kyle Reese." Later we find out that ever member of the resistance has a loyal following to John Conner. This isn't really developed, it is just created at the end to provide an inspiring moment. They eventually go into the strangely unguarded Terminator base stupid things happen that shouldn't have been able to happen if the fictional world had been created with any sort of eye for detail. Big things happen and then at the wrap up it is explained that the big things didnt really matter at all. GREAT.
Basically this is just not what I wanted Terminator Salvation to be. I wanted a war of the future. I wanted the glimpses of the future you got in Terminator and Terminator 2. Laser beams and bodies flying and all out warfare on the battlefront. What we get instead is a resistance that I believe would be quashed within minutes in a desert base surrounded by landmines that only spring up when it is beneficial for the plot, All led by a 1980's joke character and followed up by characters that make irrational decisions based around John Conner, who isn't really that likeable of a character. Also the plot is just stupid.
Go see it if you must see the next piece in the series even if it will dissapoint you, or if you have never seen any of the others and want to see robots and explosions. I do warn you canon-ites though, you will be dissapointed.
Frustrations SPOILERS
1. Marcus has a robo skeleton, meaning he should weight like 800 pounds, yet he swims and young women drag him about.
2. On the motobike that John Conner hijacks I believe he uses a USB drive, that's just stupid
3. If this skynet place they blow up at the end is so important, why are they buckling down for more battles? Basically the reason they blow up this place at the end is not at all explained
4. The Blair Williams character breaks Marcus out knowing he is a robot. How stupid are you? Robots want to kill humans, he is a robot, therefore he is somehow working to kill you. DUH.
5.Their base is in a submarine
6. The humans could not believable have survived as long as they have. These robots would totally have killed them by now
7. The Arnold scene is just stupid and unecessary
8. When they blow up the base at the end using the batteries in the robots you have to think, would these robots really just leave a bunch of highly explosive batteries chilling on a table?
9. The mine in the minefield conveniently sticks to Marcus, yet later it seems fine to drive trucks around on it.
10. John Conner is way too pissed off, surly and stupid.
11. I rooted for the Robots. Honestly.
12. Helena Bonham Carter plays this like "brain of the terminators" character and she is just so unnecessary. The terminators are machines, they should just get sent commands from a faceless computer. They don't need a face, and certainly not Helena Bonham Carter's (though I like her)
13. In the scene where Marcus has carried out his purpose, Helena Bonham Carter explains everything to him, causing him to rebel. I would imagine she could just NOT do that and reprogram him so he is none the wiser. The explanation serves no purpose but to get him to rebel and actually help the resistance cause.
14. When he does decide to rebel he conveniently knows exactly what thing to rip out of his head.
15. In the terminator base, there are like 3 terminators. It's a freaking factory! It should be crawling with robotic beasts of destruction to annihilate John Conner. HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT!
Frustration
Example: The other day my former roommate and I went to our landlord's office in order to remove my name from the lease and add the incoming roommate. The process involved 3 people signing a pre-existing document, and then putting it back in the filing cabinet. Simple enough. However, the rental company wished to charge us a $100 "subleasing fee." I cannot figure out how to justify such a gross charge for such a simple task other than complete and and utter greed.
Lets figure it this way. Say the woman working behind the desk is paid 20 dollars an hour. The process of us coming in and signing these papers took about 10 minutes, at this rate and time it cost the company about $3 to pay the woman for her labor. I also imagine the company like to make profit, so I could understand maybe charging us an extra $10, maybe even rounding it to a total of $15, but $100? How in any way is that justified? It's greed, straight up greed, and they can get away with it because they own half of the rental property in the city, and we have no other choice.
This is frustrating. See what I mean? It shouldn't work that way, but it does, and there's nothing I can do about it. Frustrating.
(Luckily my former roommate is an extremely kind individual and it covering the costs)
I can however, already sense an opposing argument arising. We live in a capitalist country. The company has the right to charge whatever they want for any service, and if they can get people to pay their price, more power to them. Right?
No, I disagree. When I think of a business being successful I do not think of how much money they have. I do not believe a business should strive to have the largest profits as possible but to create the best product possible while still making a profit, and then, with that profit turning it back around to innovate and improve their product, or possibly create an entirely new product. The idea of business is not to accumulate funds but to successfully provide products that aid human life. It is to succeed in a venture, succeed further in it, and then choose another venture to succeed in. That is a business. Greed is Bad. Read Atlas Shrugged or something.
Breaking New Ground
The thought started as we watched a film that was completely fictionalized, it was supposedly a day of an odd character, filmed and editted by the character himself. First, it was that Napoleon Dynamite, I'm really unnaturally awkard, pastel color kind of humor which I am not a fan of in the first place. Second it was completely fictionalized, there was nothing true about it. I happen to think that no matter how well thought out a character may be, if they are not a real person then it is fiction. The biggest factor qualifying a dodumentary as a documentary to me is that it is Non-fictitious. Even if it has an interpretive take on non-fictitious subject it can be a documentary, but if the source material is not real, then it is not documenting anything, it is a mockumentary, or simply a comedy. The other classmates and instructor were quick to defend it as a documentary, on what basis I am not sure of. I am fine if they say its on the cutting edge of film, but not documentary.
The lecture was from a woman who worked as an archivist and put together abstract video pieces that she referred to as eye refreshers. I like these kind of things, it's like a screensaver set to music, there's no narrative just interesting images that are enjoyable to watch. I am down with these type of things, as long as they are honest about what they are. She then went on to talk about how through her work she has come to have a D-WO attitude, meaning "do it with others" she preached the values of making films a highly collaborative effort. I am all for a collaboration, but she preached it as less of, lets put all our ideas together, and more, lets throw all of our ideas in a pot, mix them up indiscriminately and put the brown result on screen. I don't want to sound like a some paranoid conservative, but is sounded quite socialist.
She proposed that the future of documentary lie in projects such as one in which people RFID tagged hundreds of cockroaches and released them in a walmart, screwing with all of Walmart's scanners, or one in which the Walmart machines were hacked the barcodes were changed so that when they were scanned the display would say "You're feeding the monster that destroys our economy" instead of "pizza."
This to me is in no way documentary. For one, nothing is documented. Second, this is just a prank that really inconveniences people at Walmart. It has very little redeeming quality besides making a slight statement. It is a statement that for the most part be regarded negatively by everyone except for those who were already in support. I saw that and thought, interesting statement, I wish they had just proposed the idea of it and the expected results, they didn't have to actually go out, be total jerks and actually do it.
I think people feel more validated if they can think that what they do is on the edge of documentary filmmaking , it's forging new frontiers in an aging field. There is no filmmaking, or documenting involved. People shouldn't be ashamed to say, well this isnt documentary, it's an entirely new thing, because thats exactly what it is. If I invented the automobile, I wouldn't claim that I was on the cutting edge of walking, because I am not walking, I am doing an entirely different thing, Maybe the cutting edge of transportation, but certainly not walking.
Moral of the Story: I really don't like Hippies.
Human Nature
The Catcher in the Rye
If you are unfamiliar with the book, the main character, Holden, wants to be a catcher in a field of rye that prevents children from running off a cliff that mainly represents the problems, choices and difficulties of adulthood.
I began to think of it in different ways.
1. If the kids run to Holden, does he give them the choice of either continuing to be children and playing in the field without worry, or going off the ledge, OR does he just stop them without telling them what he is stopping them from.
2. If he doesn't tell the kids why he is stopping them I think it could have a variety of results.
a. The kids could rebel as kids do an be like, "shutup I wanna know" and then run off the cliff more eagerly.
b. The kids could go back to childhood, but always know that there is something else out there and wonder about it.
c. The kids could become scared of what Holden was protecting them from and fear it in all aspects of their life, in turn transforming Holden to God-like status as he is the protector against the unknown.
3. I began to think of similar metaphors for growing up.
a. It is like your parents and elders are spending your time in childhood arming you and padding you so that when you accidentally fly off the cliff, each branch on the way down doesn't hurt so bad.
b. It is less like a cliff and more like a slope of varying degree with surprise obstacles along the way. The people who survive best were able to dodge the obstacles or fight them. Either way, whether you hit every obstacle on the way down or dodge them all, you get to the end.
Either way Holden Caulfield is a bitch who just needs to realize that he isn't special and start dealing with problems rather than whining about them.
Side Note: I think it is interesting how a fictional person can get me so riled up.
My ranking system
Now the real deal, in my Quest discussion (once again) we were asked to evaluate how we know our values were authentic. Basically how do you know if what you think being a good person is really right. I was all up on that, you see I have my ranking system. I know how I view people and the categories to put them in. There are 5, two negative, one neutral and two positive.
To preface I view the world as a battle between chaos and order, or problems and solutions if you will for the purpose of my ranking system.
At the center is the "Non-Contributor" this is a person who in their daily life don't't really cause any problems, they may recycle inconsistently, be involved in an argument from time to time, but mostly they just exist, they neither contribute positively nor negatively to the world. They can be represented mathematically as a 0.
On the negative side have our first step which is the anti-contributor. This person has an active negative effect on the world. They don't recycle ever or even care for it's causes. They may still harbor prejudice towards one group. They often start conflicts, and arguments. They don't seek to destroy solutions, but they make them much more difficult to happen. It's not so much an evil as a selfish taking in of the world. Rather than replace a lightbulb, they will call the lightbulb company and bitch about how it is out. They can be mathematically represented as a negative 1.
On the Positive side our first step is the problem stopper. This person recycles but doesn't develop new ways to recycle. They clean up their floor, but don't design new methods of organization. They may also encourage others to recycle. In the long run they may have a positive effect on the chaos of the world. During their lifetimes their "space" in the area of life is occupied by order, and there may be a short continuance of this order through others after their life ends. They contribute during their lifetime but nothing more. Mathematically they are a 1.
On the far end of Positive we have what I call a solver. This is the person who invents, solves, and sees problems for just what they are. This is the person who rather than sit there and not be racist himself goes out and fights racism. Or the person who is like, "these candles are a rather dangerous form of lighting this room" then goes out and invents a light bulb. They take a permanent bite out of chaos. Instead of fighting that part of chaos back their entire life, they kill it so nobody ever has to worry about it again, permanently winning a battle for the side of order. Mathematically they are a 2.
FINALLY, the -2 is basically the opposite of a 2, a "Trouble-Maker." They actively seek to put problems into the world, they create non-issues and get thousands to argue over them. They scare people into thinking there are weapons in the next room and convince everyone to kill everyone in that room. They scare people into thinking if they are bad the floor will start on fire and make people chase false pursuits instead of being solvers. They are bad. While "Solvers" may be permanently taking chaos away, these people are adding new bits in that never used to exist.
Makes sense eh? I want to be a person who contributes something to the world that permanently eliminates a part of it. I want to be a 2, or the very first 3. That'd be pimp tight.
Minor Wish
I wish I could be that person, saving people from minor embarassments.
God
I don't usually write about God, but his essence used to be very important to me, and I think about what he is a lot.
Two Ponderances
1. Which is preferable, a quick tremendous pain or a long dull one? I would much rather have a quick sharp pain than one that eats at you a long time and I think this goes for more than just physical pain. I'd rip a band-aid off instead of pulling it slowly, I'd rather have someone tell me harshly how they felt then let me wonder for weeks. Which type of person are you?
( I realized this tonight when I absolutely could not stand an earache I had at the library while trying to study. My twinges of terribly sore throat all day didn't bother me that much but this earache that wouldn't go away and caused me to not to be able to think drove me over the edge. I got so unreasonably mad.)
On another note I don't know that I could live with any sort of disability. Even when my hearing is partially impaired it drives me bonkers, who knows what would happen if my legs didn't work)
2. I got a great quote from my roommate today and it made me think about things. He said this to me as I was trying to cure my earache with an herbal treatment I read about online. He said, "Why can't you suffer like a normal person." Just think about that. Let it resonate. It can take you in so many ways. Is it humanity to suffer? Are human's not meant to suffer but have convinced themselves otherwise? Relate it to biblical ideas and see where that takes you. Jesus died to end suffering, is this what make him not human, that he takes on all the suffering? Or does it make him the example of a human because he suffered? What does suffering say about humanity?
My biggest thought is, I wish I had replied, "because suffering is not humanity's way"
Props to Math
Updates
2. It is a beautiful day outside and I have realized everything, and everyone look better in beautiful sunlight. ( If someone would paint me a picture of St. Mary's church on Jefferson St. from the perspective of the bench across the street on a sunny day I would pay large sums of money)
3. Getting up early in the morning and exercising makes me feel great. While I was exercising I was thinking about relationships and my parents. I have come to the conclusion that one of the most important responsibilities of a father is to love his wife openly, let the children see how much he loves her, especially if he has sons. I believe that I have a good pretense for a relationship because of my parents' example. I think everybody has their example couple that they look to and think, "that's what I want." While some people have to look to a celebrity couple, or the neighbors, or the Huxtables, I was lucky to have a perfect example of a loving couple right in my home that I could look up to.
4. You should all let your parents know that you love them, use Valentines day as an opportunity.
Gripe Gripe Gripe
anyway. That's my gripe. Always the self analyst I look at the type of things that get me ticked off like this, which isn't many, and what they have in common. I am never pissed off at the world or how the world works, or an accident that happens, or a stupid mess I get myself into I am only pissed off at stupid frustrating people. I love the world, just lots of the times, the people in it suck. Don't suck. Live realistically. If you do suck, realize you suck, and try to suck less, or just seclude yourself so your sucking doesn't affect the rest of us (those who don't suck).
Speaking of, I might start a suck-rehab. If you currently suck and are tired of it, want to stop sucking, send me an email. We can help.
Inaugurations and Dreams
1. Even though Bush did some terrible things I can't help but feel sorry for the guy because everyone knows how hard it is to fail, and he failed very hard on the most public spotlight in a position where he is judged more harshly than anywhere else. That has to be pretty tough and I hope he enjoys his time off.
2. First ladies have a tough job as well and are probably some of the best wives in the world. I've always though of how hard it would be if my future wife was hugely successful and in order to help her succeed I had to put my life on hold. While first wives have lots of opportunities to work for their cause I think it would be terribly difficult to have your mutual life with someone so focused on the other person.
On another note I had this dream last night in which I was still on winter break with about 2 weeks left and I was at home with my parents feeling so frustrated with where I was and everything going on around me. Dream me packed up, got online, and bought plane tickets to Scotland to leave that night. In the dream I was adamant about leaving that night, I had to go NOW. I told my parents, paid for my tickets ( which were strangely only 9 dollars) and got ready to leave. I remember being really scared to be doing something so drastic and to be all alone in Europe but also really excited. I don't know what that is all about but I think it mirrors some things in my mind/ lots of people my age's mind.
1. I am always frustrated with the here and now and want to move on to the there and later.
2. My parents in the dream were fully supportive and they really have been lately, I have been really thankful that I have the parents I do.
3. I yearn for some sort of time where I can be in total isolation in a foreign land to meditate on myself a sort of life quest if you will.
and that is all.
Happy New Year!!
I may post again later tonight so keep your eyes peeled, but you can deal with this post for now.
