The Catcher in the Rye
We were talking about this book, in Quest again, and I really don't like the character of Holden Caulfield. I did, on a better note, get some thoughts in my dome about this catcher in the rye idea.
If you are unfamiliar with the book, the main character, Holden, wants to be a catcher in a field of rye that prevents children from running off a cliff that mainly represents the problems, choices and difficulties of adulthood.
I began to think of it in different ways.
1. If the kids run to Holden, does he give them the choice of either continuing to be children and playing in the field without worry, or going off the ledge, OR does he just stop them without telling them what he is stopping them from.
2. If he doesn't tell the kids why he is stopping them I think it could have a variety of results.
a. The kids could rebel as kids do an be like, "shutup I wanna know" and then run off the cliff more eagerly.
b. The kids could go back to childhood, but always know that there is something else out there and wonder about it.
c. The kids could become scared of what Holden was protecting them from and fear it in all aspects of their life, in turn transforming Holden to God-like status as he is the protector against the unknown.
3. I began to think of similar metaphors for growing up.
a. It is like your parents and elders are spending your time in childhood arming you and padding you so that when you accidentally fly off the cliff, each branch on the way down doesn't hurt so bad.
b. It is less like a cliff and more like a slope of varying degree with surprise obstacles along the way. The people who survive best were able to dodge the obstacles or fight them. Either way, whether you hit every obstacle on the way down or dodge them all, you get to the end.
Either way Holden Caulfield is a bitch who just needs to realize that he isn't special and start dealing with problems rather than whining about them.
Side Note: I think it is interesting how a fictional person can get me so riled up.
If you are unfamiliar with the book, the main character, Holden, wants to be a catcher in a field of rye that prevents children from running off a cliff that mainly represents the problems, choices and difficulties of adulthood.
I began to think of it in different ways.
1. If the kids run to Holden, does he give them the choice of either continuing to be children and playing in the field without worry, or going off the ledge, OR does he just stop them without telling them what he is stopping them from.
2. If he doesn't tell the kids why he is stopping them I think it could have a variety of results.
a. The kids could rebel as kids do an be like, "shutup I wanna know" and then run off the cliff more eagerly.
b. The kids could go back to childhood, but always know that there is something else out there and wonder about it.
c. The kids could become scared of what Holden was protecting them from and fear it in all aspects of their life, in turn transforming Holden to God-like status as he is the protector against the unknown.
3. I began to think of similar metaphors for growing up.
a. It is like your parents and elders are spending your time in childhood arming you and padding you so that when you accidentally fly off the cliff, each branch on the way down doesn't hurt so bad.
b. It is less like a cliff and more like a slope of varying degree with surprise obstacles along the way. The people who survive best were able to dodge the obstacles or fight them. Either way, whether you hit every obstacle on the way down or dodge them all, you get to the end.
Either way Holden Caulfield is a bitch who just needs to realize that he isn't special and start dealing with problems rather than whining about them.
Side Note: I think it is interesting how a fictional person can get me so riled up.
My ranking system
One quick thing before I begin my post. I think it would be funny to constantly have a visual diagram of all my friends rankings in the form of a chart on my wall at all times. I would keep them informed at all times of their relative ranking and try to make it such a sought after honor that people would start playing into my game.
Now the real deal, in my Quest discussion (once again) we were asked to evaluate how we know our values were authentic. Basically how do you know if what you think being a good person is really right. I was all up on that, you see I have my ranking system. I know how I view people and the categories to put them in. There are 5, two negative, one neutral and two positive.
To preface I view the world as a battle between chaos and order, or problems and solutions if you will for the purpose of my ranking system.
At the center is the "Non-Contributor" this is a person who in their daily life don't't really cause any problems, they may recycle inconsistently, be involved in an argument from time to time, but mostly they just exist, they neither contribute positively nor negatively to the world. They can be represented mathematically as a 0.
On the negative side have our first step which is the anti-contributor. This person has an active negative effect on the world. They don't recycle ever or even care for it's causes. They may still harbor prejudice towards one group. They often start conflicts, and arguments. They don't seek to destroy solutions, but they make them much more difficult to happen. It's not so much an evil as a selfish taking in of the world. Rather than replace a lightbulb, they will call the lightbulb company and bitch about how it is out. They can be mathematically represented as a negative 1.
On the Positive side our first step is the problem stopper. This person recycles but doesn't develop new ways to recycle. They clean up their floor, but don't design new methods of organization. They may also encourage others to recycle. In the long run they may have a positive effect on the chaos of the world. During their lifetimes their "space" in the area of life is occupied by order, and there may be a short continuance of this order through others after their life ends. They contribute during their lifetime but nothing more. Mathematically they are a 1.
On the far end of Positive we have what I call a solver. This is the person who invents, solves, and sees problems for just what they are. This is the person who rather than sit there and not be racist himself goes out and fights racism. Or the person who is like, "these candles are a rather dangerous form of lighting this room" then goes out and invents a light bulb. They take a permanent bite out of chaos. Instead of fighting that part of chaos back their entire life, they kill it so nobody ever has to worry about it again, permanently winning a battle for the side of order. Mathematically they are a 2.
FINALLY, the -2 is basically the opposite of a 2, a "Trouble-Maker." They actively seek to put problems into the world, they create non-issues and get thousands to argue over them. They scare people into thinking there are weapons in the next room and convince everyone to kill everyone in that room. They scare people into thinking if they are bad the floor will start on fire and make people chase false pursuits instead of being solvers. They are bad. While "Solvers" may be permanently taking chaos away, these people are adding new bits in that never used to exist.
Makes sense eh? I want to be a person who contributes something to the world that permanently eliminates a part of it. I want to be a 2, or the very first 3. That'd be pimp tight.
Now the real deal, in my Quest discussion (once again) we were asked to evaluate how we know our values were authentic. Basically how do you know if what you think being a good person is really right. I was all up on that, you see I have my ranking system. I know how I view people and the categories to put them in. There are 5, two negative, one neutral and two positive.
To preface I view the world as a battle between chaos and order, or problems and solutions if you will for the purpose of my ranking system.
At the center is the "Non-Contributor" this is a person who in their daily life don't't really cause any problems, they may recycle inconsistently, be involved in an argument from time to time, but mostly they just exist, they neither contribute positively nor negatively to the world. They can be represented mathematically as a 0.
On the negative side have our first step which is the anti-contributor. This person has an active negative effect on the world. They don't recycle ever or even care for it's causes. They may still harbor prejudice towards one group. They often start conflicts, and arguments. They don't seek to destroy solutions, but they make them much more difficult to happen. It's not so much an evil as a selfish taking in of the world. Rather than replace a lightbulb, they will call the lightbulb company and bitch about how it is out. They can be mathematically represented as a negative 1.
On the Positive side our first step is the problem stopper. This person recycles but doesn't develop new ways to recycle. They clean up their floor, but don't design new methods of organization. They may also encourage others to recycle. In the long run they may have a positive effect on the chaos of the world. During their lifetimes their "space" in the area of life is occupied by order, and there may be a short continuance of this order through others after their life ends. They contribute during their lifetime but nothing more. Mathematically they are a 1.
On the far end of Positive we have what I call a solver. This is the person who invents, solves, and sees problems for just what they are. This is the person who rather than sit there and not be racist himself goes out and fights racism. Or the person who is like, "these candles are a rather dangerous form of lighting this room" then goes out and invents a light bulb. They take a permanent bite out of chaos. Instead of fighting that part of chaos back their entire life, they kill it so nobody ever has to worry about it again, permanently winning a battle for the side of order. Mathematically they are a 2.
FINALLY, the -2 is basically the opposite of a 2, a "Trouble-Maker." They actively seek to put problems into the world, they create non-issues and get thousands to argue over them. They scare people into thinking there are weapons in the next room and convince everyone to kill everyone in that room. They scare people into thinking if they are bad the floor will start on fire and make people chase false pursuits instead of being solvers. They are bad. While "Solvers" may be permanently taking chaos away, these people are adding new bits in that never used to exist.
Makes sense eh? I want to be a person who contributes something to the world that permanently eliminates a part of it. I want to be a 2, or the very first 3. That'd be pimp tight.
Minor Wish
I was sitting in my Quest for Human Destiny discussion today and the TA misspelled constitutes on the board. Misspellings and the like bug me when written out publicly and it was itching my innards. I wanted to call out and tell her of her mistake but did not want to embarrass her. My minor wish I had is that I could be an entity that wanders the earth secretly and corrects minor errors and prevents embarrassments. No one would ever know I was there, only I would know about the embarrassing thing, and I would prevent that person from emotional trauma. You misspell a word on the board? I secretly slip in there and add the missing letter so nobody is the wiser. You walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper on your shoe? I remove it just before you exit so nobody knows it ever happened. You're 12 and pee your pants on the bus? I provide a huge distraction outside one of the windows that draws all the kids attention and magically drop a new clean pair of identical pants on your lap.
I wish I could be that person, saving people from minor embarassments.
I wish I could be that person, saving people from minor embarassments.
God
Tonight I had a moment where I talked to God, or at least talked at him. I only go to God when I am feeling really desperate for somebody and feel like I need help, but that's not the point and I won't trouble you with that. I realized that I felt ashamed before him, because I never go to him or think of him unless it is at a time when I am feeling lowly and need him. I feel as I don't deserve his help at those times. As I talked to God aloud I wanted to promise him that I would change that, that I would come to him more often to share joys and thanks, and appreciations and minor thoughts but I could not say it. I could not lie to God, because I knew I would not keep the promise to make God a larger part of my life. What I did realize is that at times, when I have really been liking a girl, or when I have been talking to my parents I could make that change for them. For a girl I was falling for or for someone I truly cared for I can make the promise to change. I can change for love in a way. I feel that in essence God is love. I cannot lie to someone I love. I don't know where I am going with this but I just wonder. Is God to be loved, is he supposed to do all the loving and be all forgiving, or is he just all forgiving if you love him? If that's the case I need to work on my love of God.
I don't usually write about God, but his essence used to be very important to me, and I think about what he is a lot.
I don't usually write about God, but his essence used to be very important to me, and I think about what he is a lot.
Two Ponderances
I ponder two things tonight.
1. Which is preferable, a quick tremendous pain or a long dull one? I would much rather have a quick sharp pain than one that eats at you a long time and I think this goes for more than just physical pain. I'd rip a band-aid off instead of pulling it slowly, I'd rather have someone tell me harshly how they felt then let me wonder for weeks. Which type of person are you?
( I realized this tonight when I absolutely could not stand an earache I had at the library while trying to study. My twinges of terribly sore throat all day didn't bother me that much but this earache that wouldn't go away and caused me to not to be able to think drove me over the edge. I got so unreasonably mad.)
On another note I don't know that I could live with any sort of disability. Even when my hearing is partially impaired it drives me bonkers, who knows what would happen if my legs didn't work)
2. I got a great quote from my roommate today and it made me think about things. He said this to me as I was trying to cure my earache with an herbal treatment I read about online. He said, "Why can't you suffer like a normal person." Just think about that. Let it resonate. It can take you in so many ways. Is it humanity to suffer? Are human's not meant to suffer but have convinced themselves otherwise? Relate it to biblical ideas and see where that takes you. Jesus died to end suffering, is this what make him not human, that he takes on all the suffering? Or does it make him the example of a human because he suffered? What does suffering say about humanity?
My biggest thought is, I wish I had replied, "because suffering is not humanity's way"
1. Which is preferable, a quick tremendous pain or a long dull one? I would much rather have a quick sharp pain than one that eats at you a long time and I think this goes for more than just physical pain. I'd rip a band-aid off instead of pulling it slowly, I'd rather have someone tell me harshly how they felt then let me wonder for weeks. Which type of person are you?
( I realized this tonight when I absolutely could not stand an earache I had at the library while trying to study. My twinges of terribly sore throat all day didn't bother me that much but this earache that wouldn't go away and caused me to not to be able to think drove me over the edge. I got so unreasonably mad.)
On another note I don't know that I could live with any sort of disability. Even when my hearing is partially impaired it drives me bonkers, who knows what would happen if my legs didn't work)
2. I got a great quote from my roommate today and it made me think about things. He said this to me as I was trying to cure my earache with an herbal treatment I read about online. He said, "Why can't you suffer like a normal person." Just think about that. Let it resonate. It can take you in so many ways. Is it humanity to suffer? Are human's not meant to suffer but have convinced themselves otherwise? Relate it to biblical ideas and see where that takes you. Jesus died to end suffering, is this what make him not human, that he takes on all the suffering? Or does it make him the example of a human because he suffered? What does suffering say about humanity?
My biggest thought is, I wish I had replied, "because suffering is not humanity's way"
Props to Math
Today I was sitting in my stats class, bored out of my gourd, when I really started to think about Math. Math is like the first computer, math books the first app store, and mathematicians the first software developers. It's very simple, and I've realized it before but today, I garnered a new appreciation for it. You have a problem and it can be solved. If I give you the equation to solve it you now have the tools (or applications) necessary to solve it. With the correct knowledge of equations you will have the tools to solve any equation. Learning a new bit of math is like going to Menards and buying a new wrench, you now have a new tool at your disposal but it's free. There are even equations that are better than others. If you have poor math skills it will take you a long time to solve a problem, but with more tools, and better equations at your disposal, you can solve the same problem faster and possibly more accuarately. Just like if you are poor you buy a shitty wrench, but if you are rich you get the wrechomatic electric wrench that can unwrench 30 bolts in a second. Pretty cool stuff. Props to any mathematicians out there, you are like the carpenters of the mind. The original problem solvers.
Updates
1. I did not meet my goal of posting more than the same month of the previous year for January. I will do my best this month.
2. It is a beautiful day outside and I have realized everything, and everyone look better in beautiful sunlight. ( If someone would paint me a picture of St. Mary's church on Jefferson St. from the perspective of the bench across the street on a sunny day I would pay large sums of money)
3. Getting up early in the morning and exercising makes me feel great. While I was exercising I was thinking about relationships and my parents. I have come to the conclusion that one of the most important responsibilities of a father is to love his wife openly, let the children see how much he loves her, especially if he has sons. I believe that I have a good pretense for a relationship because of my parents' example. I think everybody has their example couple that they look to and think, "that's what I want." While some people have to look to a celebrity couple, or the neighbors, or the Huxtables, I was lucky to have a perfect example of a loving couple right in my home that I could look up to.
4. You should all let your parents know that you love them, use Valentines day as an opportunity.
2. It is a beautiful day outside and I have realized everything, and everyone look better in beautiful sunlight. ( If someone would paint me a picture of St. Mary's church on Jefferson St. from the perspective of the bench across the street on a sunny day I would pay large sums of money)
3. Getting up early in the morning and exercising makes me feel great. While I was exercising I was thinking about relationships and my parents. I have come to the conclusion that one of the most important responsibilities of a father is to love his wife openly, let the children see how much he loves her, especially if he has sons. I believe that I have a good pretense for a relationship because of my parents' example. I think everybody has their example couple that they look to and think, "that's what I want." While some people have to look to a celebrity couple, or the neighbors, or the Huxtables, I was lucky to have a perfect example of a loving couple right in my home that I could look up to.
4. You should all let your parents know that you love them, use Valentines day as an opportunity.
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