Brain Dead

This blog is going to be slightly contradictory. I think. It is inspired by the fact that I am sitting at the Java House with two compatriots and my mind is blank. I am just staring ahead at this screen with nothing on my mind, frustrated that I can’t think of any great thoughts to share with the world.
I then realize that many times I complain and complain about how I simply cannot get my mind to shut up. It thinks and thinks itself to death, expounding upon any small thought to the furthest extent, and trying to relate every elucidation to every other elucidation until I cannot sleep or stop myself from thinking and simply exist.
In this very moment my mind has stopped itself from thinking. I am just staring at this screen. It’s not thinking itself into oblivion as it usually does. It seems a bit contradictory that the act of thinking about why I can’t think of anything made me think of something, and that really by doing this I am just fueling my frustration rather than just realizing that for once I have a cherished moment of silence. I could go home right now, lie in bed and immediately fall to sleep. Or I could go home and watch a movie, or read a book and absorb its contents without my noisy mind getting in the way.
I need to realize these moments more often and appreciate them. There’s something to be said for being able to put yourself in the correct mindset for any situation; pumping yourself up before a big game, or putting yourself in a solemn mood before a funeral. But there is also something to be said for simply realizing the mindset you are in, focusing on the energy of your body and using that energy for what it is best suited to. Both are desirable traits. In this situation I realized I have a rare moment of a mindset that I have a hard time forcing myself into and that I should cherish it. I do worry now though that now that I’ve realized that I am in this mindset, and I have started to analyze it, that the mindset will cease to be. I was just brought another cup of Yerba Matè, so I’ve got to finish that, but if my mind is still dead at the end, I’m going home and doing the most mind-numbing thing I can find.