Gifts

Alright people. This is a big one. This means something and it needs to be shared. Allow me to set up the scene. I am walking home this beautiful evening observing the world around me in all of it's glistening, white, snow-covered splendor. As often happens when the magnificence of the world is overwhelming me, God came to mind. Faith is something I have wrestled with for years and I am rarely able to pin it down long enough to give it a good look in the eyes. Tonight neither I nor God were willing to throw up our dukes and for the first time in a long while I knew what I believed. The logic behind my revelation is simple and easy to follow but the steps leading to it's occurrence are complicated. It came from a mixture of the snow today, a letter from my father, a lecture in my anthropology class and the thought of the oncoming holiday but it goes like this. I have always been sure of one thing in my faith and that is that I am sure God exists. Being in a slightly bummed out mood on my walk home I struck up a conversation with the big man. I told him that I was living my life for me and not him. Of course I instantly realized what I was saying to the Holiest of Holies and began rethinking my words. I thanked him for giving me the gift of life, other's lives and the world in which we reside. I was about to apologize for not always living up to expectations or "sinning" until I realized that this was silly. A big problem I always had when I was a strong Christian was that when I went out and had a good time I would come home and feel like a scumbag when I remembered that "God was watching us." I didn't want to feel guilty for enjoying life anymore. Here is where my anthropology class jumps in, I remembered how merely seconds ago I had thanked God for the GIFT of life, and the world. When I put my life and the world around me into the perspective of a gift it all came clear. We had been talking in anthro about how gifts are given for different reasons and have all sorts of meanings in different cultures. A good person doesn't give a gift to get anything in return. Think of a person you love and a gift you have given them. Did you give them whatever it was because you owed it to them, to get something in return, or to make them somehow indebted to you? No, if you really loved them you gave it to them so you could see that smile on their face. Real gifts are given to give the receiver happiness and to be appreciated. So when I put this image of a gift onto the world on my life I realized. God didn't give me life and put me in this world so I could spend my entire time trying to repay him. He gave it to me to be appreciated and enjoyed. To extend that thought further he gave it to all of us to be enjoyed and that means every bit of it. From the materials we consume to the people around us and all of man's accomplishments. I believe life is to be lived and enjoyed without debt to anyone. There are very little rules and no sins to commit. The only rule I would advise is to be thankful for life and either help other people enjoy their lives or at least don't prevent the enjoyment. Really if everyone thought like this things would go a lot smoother. Anyway thats kind of the tip of what I realized tonight. It makes life a whole lot more positive and less guilty and deep down I really just know it is based in truth. This is a blog I would really appreciate other's thoughts, comments, criticisms or suggested additions on. Thanks.